Finding true love

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."  --as quoted by a seven-year-old when asked the famous question, "What is love?"

Aww.  Everyone wants to be loved.  It is a basic human need, as dictated by Maslow's hierarchy of needs (look it up) and just common sense.  So, like other life requirements that we need and may have trouble obtaining, where do we go to find it?

The Internet!

You can buy your house and your groceries here, so why not get yourself some sweet lovin' during your visit as well?  Of course, even though I personally have nothing against online dating, since this is my blog I will do my best to pick apart the negative aspects and make fun of them.  So here's a list of not-so-great things you may encounter if you decide to take this route for romance.

1.  Complainers

I have to point out the whiners, first and foremost, because these folks will always be around to fuss when things don't go their way, both on the Internet and in real life.  When these guys and gals can't make the most of their cyber-dating experience, they'll no doubt blame everyone else before examining themselves for error.  Such examples include regularly posting things like "omg, I created TWO IDENTICAL PROFILES, but used different pictures (see below), and the second one got more responses!!  Wow, women/men/etc. are soooo shallow!"

 

Whoa, when given two options, random people on the Internet pick the more attractive one?  Shocking!  That pretty sums up the whiners.

2.  Boring profiles, unrealistically high expectations

In my many days of amateur Web research, I have found that people are very generic in their descriptions of themselves ("I like movies," "I like to have fun," etc.) while sometimes giving very specific guidelines for what they seek in a partner ("no fatties," "at least 6'0").  I swear that I once encountered a list with at least 100 specifications for a potential mate, which is simply ridiculous considering that the young lady who posted it probably wasn't such hot stuff herself, resorting to impersonal dating tactics and whatnot.  I mean, I'm no looker either, but at least I don't go on websites asking for only 6'4" Swedish underwear models who love collecting ships in jars when they're not at work making a six-figure salary, all whilst I lie in bed watching cartoons with last week's Doritos crumbs stuck to my shirt.  Next topic.

3.  Posting inappropriate photos

Oh, c'mon!

4.  Any sort of solicitation

Prostitution is illegal.  Everyone knows what you people are offering/buying, and we can see past the cleverly calculated slang terms and codewords that are being used these days, so don't flatter yourselves into thinking that it's some big secret.  I could go on about my feelings on prostitution and the sex trade, but gender dynamics and all that fun stuff isn't really the aim of this blog.  I will just say that I think the Internet has a much shadier side than what most people are used to seeing, and it has been used for exploitation, crime, and other generally bad behavior for almost as long as it has existed.  This is why we have shows like To Catch a Predator and the documentary Talhotblond.

(Not about prostitution, but something actually much worse.  If you've never seen it, check it out.  It will blow your mind.)

Well, this blog has interestingly drifted off topic, from merely annoying Internet happenings to illegal and deadly ones.  To sum it up, love and cyberspace usually don't mix well.  The mere anonymity gives people even more opportunity to tell lies than they already have, and I didn't even include lying on the list because it's such a common thing.  When two people have misrepresented themselves, though, they have a lot of explaining to do once they meet in person.  "Um, I accidentally typed 30 instead of 40.  You understand, those two numbers are really close together!  ...right?"  "Heh, that's an old photograph, yes, but I'm working on losing the weight!"  "Just kidding--I do want kids!  How about that."

I'm not saying the Internet is full of liars, or that it is impossible to find true love here.  It's just more difficult when you factor in certain inherent qualities of the Internet that hinder the building of trust and connections.  It is far from impossible.  You just have to be extra careful.

- Heather